Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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