I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
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I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
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I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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