i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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