I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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