im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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