boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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