I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize