I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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