So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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