i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize