I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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