I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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