I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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