it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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