Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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