This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize