Ambien. No doubt about it.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
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I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
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I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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