no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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