there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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