Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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