"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I got inside last night via doggy door
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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