This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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