My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
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just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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