on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
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You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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