At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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