The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize