I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize