I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize