i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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