The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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