I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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