he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
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Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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