yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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