The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize