Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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