I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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