the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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