Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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