he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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