I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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