Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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