ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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