oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
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Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
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I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
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