If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
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I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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