if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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