His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize