she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
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I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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