I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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