Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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