When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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